Searching For a Job & Needing to Find The Fear! 

If there’s one thing I can say that is positively soul destroying, it’s looking for a job. And as someone that directs potential employers to this blog, that’s a risky thing to say! But hear me out!

So, number one. I don’t currently have “The Fear”. The fear is when you quit your current job and that gives you more incentive to look for a new job because ya know, rent and bills.
I don’t have that. I’m just in a job that I’m tired of. I’ve reached as far as I can go in the company and I need to challenge myself and look for new opportunities. It’s not the feat but its a fear that I’m using as motivation.

So, every day after work I scroll and scroll to try and find jobs. I start with the jobs I want. In content creation, writing, blogging basically I want to be paid to do this for a living!
Once I realize I’ve applied for all these jobs, I move on to casual work that will tide me over while I apply for more content creation jobs. Which is fine! I’ve applied for clothes shops, for cafe’s & reception jobs.

Yesterday I hit a new low though. I applied for the position of document scanner. A DOCUMENT SCANNER THAT WOULD SUIT A SEMI-RETIREE.

I feel like it’s at the stage where I should be thinking about giving up. But I won’t I will still apply for everything! There is a company out there somewhere that wants to hire me! They’re just making me work for it is all..

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Questioning My Sexuality

Let’s start by saying I am a lesbian. There is no doubt in my mind at all that I am gay as the day is long. I just love boobs.

So why did I titled this as questioning it? Well friends, I had a dream last night where I was attracted to a man? Not only was it confusing as hell, but it was also really interesting.

Let’s explore.

So, my dreams are random, but also strange as fuck, they change perspectives all the time so one minute I’m me talking to someone, then I’m looking at that same person (me) talking to that same other person. Are you with me?

Obviously in my dream I was aware that I was a lesbian, Trish was even in the dream! It’s when the perspective changed that they were attracted to this guy. When I was me, I pushed him away and went searching for Trish in the bar. (BTW it was based in a bar/ hotel that I work in.. but outside and made of hay. Because logic.)

So what the hell was happening in my head last night? Do your dreams change at the drop of a hat like that? Are you even aware that the information presented to you isn’t right? & then try to fix it?

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!