If there’s one thing I can say that is positively soul destroying, it’s looking for a job. And as someone that directs potential employers to this blog, that’s a risky thing to say! But hear me out!
So, number one. I don’t currently have “The Fear”. The fear is when you quit your current job and that gives you more incentive to look for a new job because ya know, rent and bills.
I don’t have that. I’m just in a job that I’m tired of. I’ve reached as far as I can go in the company and I need to challenge myself and look for new opportunities. It’s not the feat but its a fear that I’m using as motivation.
So, every day after work I scroll and scroll to try and find jobs. I start with the jobs I want. In content creation, writing, blogging basically I want to be paid to do this for a living!
Once I realize I’ve applied for all these jobs, I move on to casual work that will tide me over while I apply for more content creation jobs. Which is fine! I’ve applied for clothes shops, for cafe’s & reception jobs.
Yesterday I hit a new low though. I applied for the position of document scanner. A DOCUMENT SCANNER THAT WOULD SUIT A SEMI-RETIREE.
I feel like it’s at the stage where I should be thinking about giving up. But I won’t I will still apply for everything! There is a company out there somewhere that wants to hire me! They’re just making me work for it is all..
It’s no secret that I’m a strong advocate of treat yo’self. Friends know that if they want to buy something and need confirmation that they should buy it then I’m the girl to talk to! I can rationalise spending money quicker than I can spend the money.
But even in instances that aren’t about a purchase.. Tomorrow is my birthday, the big 25 & around my birthday I get very, liberal with what I can eat. I adopt a ‘life’s too short’ mentality & with that have asked that my girlfriend makes me pancakes, that work get me a chocolate cake & told myself despite having cereal already today I can buy a cheese toastie to go with my coffee.
Do I care? Not necessarily. But it’s just such a happy time in my life. Guilt free eating! Guilt free shopping & guilt free lounging around in my pyjamas watching Moana. Again. For the 5th time.
When it’s close to your birthday, do you treat yourself with anything?
Yes, it’s October. & yes it’s a tad late to be doing this list.
But, let me explain myself! Next weekend I turn 25! Thats a quarter of a century and am I freaking out? Maybe. (thats a definite yes for those who don’t know me)
Usually around this time of year, I get really motivated for life, I kinda treat my birthday more like New Years than New Years. Last year, I joined a gym. Legit marched down and spent 300 dollars to join a gym and pay $25 a week not to go. Money well spent obviously.
This year, I’m taking a step back and making a list of goals to revisit at actual New Years. So what’s on the list you ask?
- FIND A NEW JOB
It’s no fucking secret that I am unhappy in my current line of work. & have put in half arsed attempts in finding a new job because I was busy with life & other things. Well now I have no excuses. If I’m unhappy I need to change it!
- BE HAPPY
This past year, has probably been one of the most unhappy that I’ve had. So I need to make a conscious effort to do more things for me, to actually enjoy my life.
- LESS ANXIOUS
This one i know I can’t technically control, but I think it ties into number 2. Because when I’m not happy, it triggers a whole pile of things to be anxious about that I shouldn’t be. With this one, I’m just going to focus on trying to control the things I get anxious about.
- EARN MORE MONEY
Usually people don’t put this on lists. & YES I know money isn’t everything. But right I now I earn enough to survive. & I’m at a stage in life where I need savings and grown up things.
- ENJOY LIFE
I really need to take time and stop, and appreciate life. Because I can tell you right now, I don’t. I’m always too worried about things, planning too much into the future & general being busy. I need to take time to stop and smell the roses! Actually I hate roses, let’s smell the fresh cut grass instead!
There we have it, 5 easy (probably easier than it sounds) goals for me to follow into my 25th (26th? I never know which one it is!!) year on this planet!
Today, is a good fucking day.
I’ve spent so much time and energy being negative and talk a lot about how feeling better is a process and it doesn’t just happen. Well, today is one of the good days. & this wouldn’t be a very good blog if I didn’t share these too!
What made it a good day?
Super simple answer. I woke up, and laid in bed with my cat, Theo. Went to the shops and bought some veggies for a hearty veggie soup. Did some online window shopping for my new place. & then played the Sims.
The best part is I don’t feel guilty at all! I did other things like washing and cleaning but usually when I play a game or take a few hours for myself it doesn’t sit well with my mind & my subconscious attacks me into laying in bed fretting about everything.
Today was a good day, was it good for you too? Why? Spread the love & positive vibes!
Negativity spreads, & I’m super aware that this blog is my personal dumping ground that you may or may not want to ready. So today, I’m focusing on the positivities.
I had a wonderful sleep in today, with a questionable dream.
I have a strong ass coffee.
Moana soundtrack, because like, duh.
It’s a gorgeous spring day!
Probably more to come later, as I literally just woke up!
I really hope that anyone who stumbled onto this blog and related to any negative thing I posted about, find some good in today, because if you’re anything like me, you must be exhausted of feeling so crap.
If you do find some good in today, I’d love to hear about it, even if it’s the smallest, tiniest thing that made you smile.