Being Chubby and Accepting Yourself

Firstly, I’m not going to sit here and pretend I didn’t just eat a burger and still love myself. Hell, I’m not going to pretend I love myself at all! Because loving yourself is hard. & it’s something I preach but don’t always practice.

So I think I’m chubby. Think is the operative word here, because there are people the same size as me, or bigger maybe even smaller who feel differently. & therein lays the magic to this discussion. I “feel” a bit chub. It doesn’t mean I am. Friends protest when I call myself fat. But in the same conversation will call someone smaller than me fat. Guys in work will pass comments on women thinking that it doesn’t affect me. But think about what you’re saying.

It frustrates me to see how easily we judge and rip each other down.

“She has a pretty smile, but it’s a shame she’s a bit heavier.” 

“I could never be with someone who get fat.” 

“They obviously don’t look after themselves.”

All things I’ve heard in the past two weeks. Plus more. & I can’t begin to explain how stupid this shit is.
If you love a person. YOU LOVE THAT PERSON. Love isn’t equated to body fat.

If that person wants to loose weight, encourage them and support them. If they are happy, encourage them and support them. It doesn’t matter who you are, you don’t have the right to strip someone down to one minuscule detail like weight to validate them as a person.

There’s a post on my Instagram sitting on a box jump, dead after being at the gym, & I have a love hate relationship with it. One hand tells me to be proud to have been able to accomplish what I did that day. The other side screams at me internally for not being able to accept myself.

But how can I accept myself when all I hear all day is men tearing down women. Even worse women tearing down women.

It’s like I’m doing this dangerous dance of loving my body and celebrating my shape before sitting down and ripping it apart, piece by piece until there’s nothing left.

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