“It’s just puppy fat.”

“It will fall off as you grow.” 

“Don’t eat that, eat this.”

“Maybe you should run more, get fit.”

“You have big ovaries, which is common in a girl your… build…”

How do you have body confidence, when all you associate with yourself are words that define the size you are. For the record, I am a size 12. 11 fit’s better but 12 is more comfortable. I have a tummy, no ass and thighs that tough. I am not a stick. I am n0t huge. I am just a 12. 

Anyone with the body type I just described will know, good fitting jeans are fucking hard to come by. But when you find that pair, sweet peaches they are amazing, and you care for them like you would a baby, puppy, kitten or plant of that’s what you’re into. 

Well guys & gals, I found my jeans. Ksubi, Hi & Wasted black ripped & distressed jeans. And I found them for a bargain. Now, I need you to imagine the sarcasm laid thick on that last part. These jeans cost me 180 Australian Dollars. That my friends, is more than my rent. It’s more than a food shop for the week, & my transport to and from work for a month.

 But they fit. I had to get them. 

This is where my story starts. I wear them twice, and the strap your belt goes through breaks. Obviously I’m devastated. 50% because I’m 2 hours into a shift at work, 40% because I just seen 180 dollars go pop, and 10% because I knew what would happen next. 

I. Threw. Away. The. Receipt. I threw it away, because these were the ones! When you’re getting married, you don’t keep your ex’s number on speed dial just in case. You commit. & that’s what I did. 

I hopped on the stores chat section & explained the sitch. The girl was lovely! Just told me to pop in store, exchange them boom doe. The store is on my way home. Sweeeet I’ll walk in with a busted pair walk out with a brand new pair of jeans that make my genes look good again! 

The guys at the story, at first were super unhelpful. They pawned me off, told me that they were doing me a favour by letting me exchange them and looked for my size while telling me that if they didn’t have my size, I’d need to go to a different store, 20 minutes away. 

The manage to find a *similar* pair of jeans, they are the same brand, same style. But a different rise. Which makes a difference. I tried them on, they didn’t fit so I go back to the guys helping, explain that they can’t be the same ones. They said, they’re sorry but they’re the same jeans, & I must have stretched my ones out. 

I don’t know about you guys, but my weight doesn’t fluctuate enough to stretch a pair of jeans, from not closing to fit’s comfortably around my waist… & also, who would buy an 180 dollar pair of jeans that didn’t close? In hopes of stretching them?

Enter my angel in disguise! A had such a cute sale’s rep. I explained my problem finding jeans, she got super pumped and made it her mission to find me the perfect pair and we tried Lee, Wrangler, Rolla, Insight.. Nothing fit. 

This is where I get frustrated, not at the store but at myself for being a size 12. Which I was told is a “big size” & “big sizes are only stocked in one or two pairs” because size 10 and over don’t need jeans I guess. 

At this point it’s apparent I ain’t leaving in a new pair of jeans. So I ask, can I please come back tomorrow when I can wear non ripped pants to the store. & try on more. 

Which brings me to today. After a delivery, I check for the same pair. Not there. I try on every “big” size they have. Nothing will zip. I managed to have a laugh, and show my very patient girlfriend how bad this situation was. But nothing fit. It’s disheartening. If I want to exchange for other products eg. A jacket that will fit. I need call their head office, was provided no number, no information. Just told to call them. I mange to get through & they hang up on me. Call again. They’ll call me back… 

Tell the manager at the counter & she said just come back tomorrow (when I have plans). But then they call head office, apparently the girl I was put through too is new, and doesn’t know what she’s doing. Would I have ever gotten a call back? 

I don’t know. Apparently someone is calling someone tomorrow. & I’m just waiting, growing, stretching out jeans to 2 times their actual size apparently. 
Thanks, General Pants & Co. 


2 thoughts on “Genes

  1. Dolly says:

    This was brilliant!
    Was just giving out to David yesterday about pennies and size 16. Everyone is a bloody 16!!!
    Found the perfect comfy stripy long sleeve top, went back the other day to get more. About 10 or more different colours, only one stack had one size 16 left!! Don’t even like the colour, but it fits!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lisa Murphy says:

      Good golly Miss. Dolly!

      It’s so ridiculous! It’s so hard to find something that just fits, that’s not uncomfortable!
      Did you buy it?!
      So many questions. I also miss Pennies.


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